Logan Paul’s recent appearance at the Pentagon was fitting — neither can seem to win a fight.
Paul, the YouTuber-turned-failed-fighter, is emblematic of the influencer washouts with which the Trump administration is enamored.
The trend caught my eye in a new document leaked to me: U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. Mike Waltz sent out a diplomatic cable today on how the Trump administration is “Making the United Nations Great Again,” as it’s titled.
The cable is a lot of self-congratulation that bafflingly claims credit for a world that is clearly on fire. It touts the administration’s work with rapper Nicki Minaj and former NFL quarterback Tim Tebow, both Trump fans. In particular, the cable touts Minaj’s work “to combat the persecution of Christians” and Tebow’s efforts “to end child trafficking” (yes, really).
Welcome to the Coalition of the Washouts.
What Minaj, Paul, and Tebow all have in common is that their stars are fading, their sole value being “influencers” — that is, people known primarily for their access to audiences rather than their work.
They are all hawking the Trump product, in theory increasing their brand value while otherwise doing nothing but appearing.
The administration has discovered the direct-to-consumer celebrity, and it may mark a new era in government PR. That says as much about influencers as it does about the administration: their entire business model is building an audience and renting it out to whoever pays most.
Jake Paul — Logan Paul’s brother who accompanied him in the Pentagon appearance — addressed the backlash, saying on X/Twitter today: “I’d rather be in the room asking questions, learning, challenging ideas, building relationships, and figuring out how I can help than sitting behind a screen telling everyone else what they should be doing.”
It is laughable, the equivalent of King Kong being a Housing and Urban Development ambassador. And it goes without saying that figures like Paul never “challenge” these officials. That’s the whole point of being an influencer! They cultivate audiences like livestock to be sold to the highest bidder — or maybe slaughtered is a better word, since so many are pushed into things like crypto scams and gambling apps.
So, Logan Paul teaching the Pentagon leadership how to fight better? Nicki Minaj brandishing her Trump Gold Card to fight for Christianity? Tim Tebow’s influence network combating human trafficking and slavery, which the U.N. itself admits is getting worse every year?
Per the diplomatic cable sent by Ambassador Waltz:
“We used the UN as a global platform to convene leading Americans, civil society, and UN partners in high-visibility events that championed new initiatives to build a coalition on technology and education with the First Lady, to combat the persecution of Christians with rapper/influencer Nicki Minaj, to end child trafficking with athlete Tim Tebow.”
I thought these types hated the U.N. and wanted to shut it down? Now it’s a “global platform” — a phrase that sounds like something right out of the mouth of Hillary Clinton.
The memo goes on to tout the achievements of Trump and company:
“Following successful negotiations on multiple Economic and Social Council (ECOSOC) resolutions concerning the human rights situation in Cuba, DPRK, Iran, Ukraine, and Myanmar, USUN championed human rights through high-visibility events featuring American celebrities and civil society. Surrounded by major media and over 30 UN ambassadors, American rapper/influencer Nicki Minaj called the attention of millions to the religious persecution of Christians in Nigeria, leading to advancements in counter-extremism coordination. Together with INL, USUN leadership and American all-star quarterback Tim Tebow then united dozens of UN ambassadors to condemn and combat the transnational sexual extortion of children.”
One detail that stood out to me is how the cable calls Nicki Minaj an “influencer.” That’s how the administration sees messaging these days. The classic era of U.N. celebrity diplomacy — the Angelina Jolie, George Clooney, or Bono circuit of establishment human rights advocacy — is entirely unavailable to this administration. Mainstream Hollywood talent agencies and prestige celebrities treat association with Trump as toxic to their commercial brand.
I’m hardly a fan of the Hollywood celeb archetype, but one thing you could say about Clooney that you can’t say about most influencers is he crossed the White House when he publicly called for Joe Biden to drop his reelection bid. Imagine Logan Paul doing something like that — questioning U.S. policy in Iran, or Ukraine, or anywhere. It’s funny to even think about.
As a result, the administration recruits from a distinct ecosystem: influencers who are commercially unbothered by legacy media pushback. Usually that means has-beens like Kid Rock.
And yet, the taxpayer-financed payback is obscene. Army Apache helicopters hovered near Kid Rock’s Nashville-area home, where he filmed himself waving and saluting them. The crews were initially suspended, but Hegseth intervened publicly — saying “No punishment. No investigation. Carry on, patriots” — and the matter was closed. The Secretary of Whores then joined Mr. Rock on an Apache flight around Washington.
What’s next, MrBeast helping with Pentagon recruitment?
(After writing that sentence, I realized that the Pentagon literally explored such a partnership — not under Trump, but Biden.)
— Edited by William M. Arkin
I must have been a fucking horrible person in my past life to be condemned to this hell.
To use an American football term, these folks are running interference. Meanwhile the snap-where the ball is put into play is on the other side of the field.
What do they want to hide?